A few days ago, I was on TED and I watched this TED talk on how to practice emotional first aid.
Lately, I’ve been on a roll, watching so many TED talks, and I love them so much. They truly do inspire me.
That’s why I decided to talk about how I personally perform emotional first aid on myself. I’ve come a long way – from wallowing in self pity and being the victim, to trying to cope with difficult emotions, to actually doing what’s right for me.
5 Steps to Perform Emotional First Aid on Yourself
Here are my 5 ways to help you perform emotional first aid on yourself.
1 . Choose self fulfilling coping activities
These days, it’s not about happiness for me. I don’t ask myself, “What would make me happy?”
Instead, I ask myself, “What would give me self fulfilment?”
There are things that would make me happy, but in the moment, when performing emotional first aid, they wouldn’t do much. That is why it is important to identify the activities that would reduce your pain.
That leads me to the next step:
2 . Stay away from negative coping activities
When you get into emotional hurt and pain, you kind of know what to do to make yourself feel better. It can be comfort food, or watching TV, or whatever it is that you do to cope.
Some coping mechanisms can make you feel better in a short time, but they cause more harm than good. Identify those activities and keep away from them. Choose more positive coping mechanisms because they will make you feel better in the long run.
Stay away from drugs, alcohol and unhealthy habits that make you feel like crap the next day.
3 . Ask yourself how you truly feel
One thing that surprises me constantly is how no one really performs emotional first aid on themselves. When you get hurt, you pile yourself with these comfort foods or tv shows to cope. But no one ever sits down and listens to and actually sees themselves.
I challenge you to talk the next time you feel emotional hurt. Talk to yourself. Start from the beginning. What do you feel, and what caused you to feel that way? You can go through with this by settling into a comfortable position and just thinking of everything that made you feel that way. Or you can journal, or speak out aloud.
4 . Validate your feelings
After letting it all out, talk to yourself like a therapist, or a loved one would. Tell yourself that it’s going to be all okay.
These are some of the things I tell myself when performing emotional first aid on myself:
- I am here for you
- We can get through this together
- No matter what, I will love you and I got your back
- I will hold this space for you
Make sure to validate every thought that pops into your head. Tell the thought that it is okay. It is an okay thought. Thinking that is alright.
Having negative thoughts is not wrong. Just make sure to tell it that it is okay and you respect it and it is perfect the way it is.
5 . Talk about it
In addition to talking to yourself or journaling about the hurt you are feeling, you can also talk to other people about it.
Sometimes things get clearer when you say them out loud to someone else. While you vent, you let it all out and express yourself.
The person you are talking to can also provide you comfort, or get you to see things from a different perspective.
That’s how you can perform emotional first aid. I hope this video can help you the next time you need to cope with difficult emotions.
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Get Your Mojo Back 7 Ways to Get Back into Your Groove
- How to be More Aware and Present in Your Life 7 Ways to Be More In Tune with Yourself
- How to Create a Depression Busting Self-Care Box
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