This is a list of 6 ways narcissists manipulate conversations. You have to be alert and learn how a narcissist operates, because they always have an agenda – to make you squirm and suffer.
Don’t forget to grab to grab my new e-book on Narcissism here.
This post is a guide to being mindful of the tactics that narcissists use to manipulate conversations. Narcissists love the sound of their talking, and that’s because they have an inflated ego that lets them believe that they are better than everyone else. They refuse to think that they could ever be wrong.
That’s not all.
Narcissists love arguments. They love attention, whether it’s good or bad. They want to watch you squirm. They love to sit back and watch you sweat and struggle to defend your integrity. Imagine an evil cat, lazy smile on its face, resting on an armchair and playing with a hapless little mouse. That’s what a covert narcissist in action looks like.
Of course, there are the narcissists who are more visible in their abuse. They are toxic and manipulative. The ones that yell and scream, get physically abusive and control their partners. This post is about the covert narcissists. The ones that you can never seem to beat. You never see the argument coming. You always succumb. You always end up more hurt.
While we’re here, you can read about How to Win an Argument With a Narcissist
Without beating around the bush, let’s get straight into the 6 ways narcissists manipulate conversations.
How Narcissists Manipulate Conversations
It’s important to remember that you don’t really have conversations with narcissists.
You just kind of hope for the whole thing to not blow up in your face. Narcissists always have this hidden motive to make you give them that narcissistic abuse supply. They’ll jab at you and make you feel inferior. Let’s find out how they do it.
Here are 6 tactics narcissists use to manipulate conversations:
1 | Narcissists never acknowledge your point of view
We’re all just tiny little mice to the narcissist.
We exist to serve as a punching bag to their abuse. They love to control us and make us give them our undying devotion.
That is why a narcissist will never validate your feelings. They will never make you feel heard. Every time you express your feelings or opinions, it’s a rough shut-up and never a loving I-hear-you. I mean a lot of the time, we might not agree with someone’s opinions, but at least we sit through and listen.
2 | Word salad to manipulate conversations
When you take a bite of salad, you don’t really know what’s in it. Everything is jumbled up and you just hope you can get a bit of chicken in one bite. Maybe you hate peppers and you end up with a few in one forkful.
What’s my point? Imagine your brain being jumbled up into a salad of words. You’d be confused. Salads are confusing and have no order to them.
NARCISSISTS MANIPULATE CONVERSATIONS BY MAKING SURE TO SPIN YOUR WORLD. THEY WILL TAKE YOU ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER TO MAKE YOU SQUIRM. AND THEY LIKE IT.
A narcissist will do their best to make your mind so jumbled that you will get confused and wonder exactly what on earth is going on.
Maybe you were calling them out about something unfair they were doing.
That’s when they begin their word salad strategy. The purpose of this strategy is to make you confused and struggle to make meaning of their completely illogical nonsense, and thus you forget your original issue.
Bonus point for them is that you won’t even get to the point where they see what they did to you. This is how narcissists manipulate conversations.
3 | Narcissists always shift the blame
This is another signature tactic used by narcissists to manipulate conversations.
Blame-shifting is a fun game for narcissists.
When you bring up their bad behavior, they will do whatever they can to deflect the conversation.
Usually, they will end up focusing on all the bad things you ever did. Narcissists cannot stand the thought that they could ever be less than perfect.
You on the other hand, will begin profusely apologizing for your supposed bad behavior. Either that, or you will get frustrated trying to understand why your actions even have a place in an argument about the narcissist’s bad behavior. They will bring up unrelated actions of your past and manipulate the conversation.
4 | Narcissists project their own feeling onto us
Projection is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate conversations.
This is how it works. Narcissists find it extremely uncomfortable to ever imagine that they could ever have any bad characteristics. If they ever have a thought that they are selfish, they will think it originates from you, not them. They will proceed to call you selfish.
When they accuse you of blame-shifting, the truth is that somewhere in their twisted minds, they think they are the blame-shifter. They just can’t fathom these feelings. They can’t sit with them and make peace with them. Hence, the projection.
5 | Narcissists gaslight to manipulate conversations
Narcissists love to manipulate conversations.
That’s why they gas light. Gas lighting can be described this way: You know how back in the day, there were no anesthetics so they used gas to knock you out before surgery? Narcissists use gas to make you question your mental state. They say things which are not true with utter conviction, so much so that you begin to doubt yourself and your version of the events. (I might be going overboard with the analogies. Sorry.)
NARCISSISTS LOVE TO MANIPULATE CONVERSATIONS SO MUCH. IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT IT GIVES THEM PLEASURE TO MAKE YOU EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.
One major characteristic of gas lighting is denying something ever happened. However, you were right there when it happened. You have proof about what was said and done. But a narcissist always wins. They call down heaven and swear that it didn’t happen.
Narcissists actually think they can fool people with this tactic, and the sad part is, they get away with it.
6 | Narcissists use your emotions against you to manipulate conversations
This is a classic narcissist manipulation strategy.
A narcissist will use all the tactics compiled in this post, and make you go cuckoo. They make you angry, frustrated, delirious, indignant, sad and confused.
After that, when you are raging from the absolute madness of the narcissist’s lies and deception, they stop you and say, “Look at you, it’s so disgusting to see how your anger is getting the best of you. You should be ashamed that you’re acting like such a child.”
It’s always something along the lines of, look at you. You. You caused this whole thing. You are crying. You are sniveling, you are lying, you are emotionally unstable, you are crazy.
Look at me. I am calm. I am composed, I am peaceful. I am the only san adult in this room. Let me tell you something.
NARCISSISTS LOVE TO USE YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE AGAINST YOU. THEY LOVE TO MANIPULATE YOU INTO THINKING YOU ARE AN EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSON, AND THAT THEY ARE STRONG. AND IT WORKS EVERY TIME.
This is a subconscious and evil, evil tactic to get you to think, “Oh my God, they’re right. I cause all the disruption and chaos. I’m the bad one and they are the good one. They are calm and I’m frustrated. They must be the good guy.”
You can beat narcissistic manipulation
Here’s why you can beat narcissistic manipulation: You are the good guy.
There is nothing wrong with you, like the narcissist wants you to believe.
Narcissists like manipulating conversations. They like making you think that you are responsible for all the bad things in their lives. Every drop of pain they feel is not your doing.
No one is really responsible for anyone’s state of mind. You are not responsible for serving a narcissist and catering to their every whim. It’s not your duty to make everyone feel better. Least of all, a narcissist.
Check out my new e-book on narcissism: Click Here
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Win an Argument With a Narcissist
- How to Avoid a Narcissist’s Trap
- 10 Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissist
- How to Set Boundaries With a Narcissist
- How to Beat Narcissists at Their Own Game
- #1 thing to avoid when talking to a narcissist
- 6 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No-Contact
- 3 Things a Narcissist Doesn’t Want You to Know
- 5 Crucial Life Skills for Empaths and Codependents
- How I’m Dealing with My People Pleasing Behavior
- Unethical Guide to Setting Boundaries
Helpful Books on Narcissism:
- Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Arabi
- How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse by JH Simon
- Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse by Dana Morningstar
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