How to Scare Narcissists Off

Check out my e-book on narcissism: You Make Me Feel Like Crap HERE.

Like with most things, it’s better safe than sorry. In this article, I want to look at how you can scare narcissists away from you. How do you make sure you will never fall prey to a narcissist (again)? The good news is that while narcissists can target anyone (not just codependents and empaths,) they can be thwarted off if you know just how to.

To be completely honest, being a healthy person will ensure that you can seek out only safe relationships and people that make you feel good. Getting into emotional roller coasters is easier when you were raised without consistent love and attention.

If you were raised to be focused on your parent’s slight change in mood, you’re likely to become a narcissist’s field day. If you are reading this, you’re probably over the age of 18. And now you are your own responsibility. Which means – you are responsible for re-parenting yourself. So, it’s not too late to learn how to scare narcissists off.

What scares the narcissist the most?

One thing we hear time and again about people on the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder is that they are very insecure. They make up for their insecurities with a grandiose sense of self. You can always tell when someone tries too hard. But with narcissists it’s a bit muted and sinister. They have mastered the art of masking their insecurities.

Narcissists are controlled by their egos. They are very egotistic in nature. But the one thing that scares them is being alone. They will do anything to find someone to be their right hand man. They will bring themselves down to your level and love bomb you. They will offer you gifts and words of affirmation even though it sickens them to.

But in their eyes, it’s worth it because they get to have someone to do their bidding. Narcissism can be found way back in the day. Narcissists like to rule over people and create rules that only apply to them because they want to be the master over the rest of us. They want to be on pedestals and enjoy the lime light.

How do you become strong against a narcissists?

Strength against a narcissist is easier for people who were raised to be mentally well adjusted. If you were raised by parents who only praised you for what you did and not who you are, then it might be a little different. Obviously, there are a lot of other reasons why you may be a codependent, empath, or in general a magnet for narcissists.

But the good news is that human beings are capable of change. And not just change, because I know how hard it is to change. What I find easier is “add-ons”. You don’t have to change who you are. You just have to add certain activities and habits into your life to be better able to cope with stressful situations such as narcissistic attacks.

Some of my favorite add-ons include: letting go, detachment, self compassion and kindness, practicing helpful ways of thinking.

Becoming strong against narcissists is easier when you love yourself and feel worthy. People who tend to feel shame are also perfect victims for narcissists.

What are narcissist weaknesses?

The biggest weakness of narcissist is that they need your reactions. They need to feel like they are real. Narcissists manipulate and corner unthinking empaths because they want entertainment and servitude. They want to feel like they are real. And the only way they know to get that is by trapping someone with false hopes.

Narcissist tools like love bombing are ways to attract unassuming people into their lives. They use these dark psychology tricks because they don’t believe anyone deserves safe love, or they are just using a caricature of safe love because they don’t understand it.

Do narcissists feel sorry for themselves?

5 Steps to Never Attract a Narcissist into your life

Many of us have encountered narcissists in our lives and are now rightfully traumatized and paranoid that we are going to attract another narcissist worse than the last one. You obviously think it’s possible to avoid attracting a narcissist into your life, or else you wouldn’t be reading this post. And for that, I am proud of you. Many people never change. They don’t know that they can if they want their lives to be better.

Personally, here are some things I did to scare narcissists off.

1. Therapy

Therapy is a huge one. Most people these days need therapy. It’s not just because they are traumatized or anything. The fact is, therapy can help with a lot of things. You need therapy because therapy is now widely available. It may have not been available in the past; that’s why people suffered through their mental health issues and other things like low self-esteem.

Therapy can help to increase your self esteem, and I am of the firm belief that anyone with enough self esteem can scare away a narcissist. Narcissists love to target easy prey. If you show characteristics of low self-esteem, they may target you. Such include: failure to make eye contact, slouching, hiding, shifty eyes, anxiety when speaking to others, giving more to others than yourself, and other such behaviors.

2. Self-help books

Self-help books are very important because they can help you change, just like therapy does. If you can’t afford therapy or it’s just not the thing for you, choose personal growth books that you can read on your own.

I am currently reading Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins. It is a wonderful book that is teaching me the art of feeling then surrendering emotions without having to psychoanalyze them and spiral our of control. Let’s face it – a lot of us aren’t therapists and will wrongfully diagnose our feelings and thoughts.

When I realized that it is possible for me to erroneously characterize my emotions, something shifted. Thoughts and feelings do show up – but that doesn’t mean we have to sit down with them until they spiral and spiral from one thing to another. We just have to feel and release.

3. Self-obsession

This is one thing that is very strange to me. I didn’t realize that a lot of people are really just minding their own business. They are their biggest priority and they care the most about themselves. I have a habit of throwing myself at being very loving and caring to other people. And it’s weird to others. It’s unhealthy and does not feel safe.

The only person you can safely and healthily be obsessed with, is yourself. Here’s the thing – narcissists love looking for people who are not obsessed with themselves. (By the way, I am not educated in psychology so I’m sure there is another word for self-obsession.) When a narcissist sees a person that will martyr their needs for others, they begin their hunt.

4. Boundaries

If you want to scare a narcissist off, practice setting boundaries. It may surprise you to hear this, but many people cannot set a boundary to save their life. They cannot say no even if it meant they would die. Boundaries can be something seemingly simple like, I can’t do this for you because it’s not fair or logical.

Of course, narcissists test people and if they can’t say no or set boundaries, then they will have found their next victim. One thing I have learned about boundary setting is that it’s not as harsh as yes or no. Boundaries can sound like, I would love to, but maybe after I get to know you a bit. Or, Yes but later. Or even, maybe.

However, it’s not always going to scare narcissists off if you have boundaries. Narcissists don’t uphold boundaries and can run hail on you until you give in. These are very unfortunate circumstances but you can scare off a narcissist upon first impressions by having healthy boundaries.

5. Emotional Support

If you want to attract a narcissist, do this: have no friends. Narcissists love to target loners who appear to have no connections and support. They love to isolate people who already have friends and family – but just imagine someone who doesn’t have any! A perfect victim.

If you have a strong emotional support in the form of friends and family, it is likely that you will be healthy enough to figure out that the narcissist is nothing but a toxic cesspit waiting to suck you in. Safe love shows you how to love safe.

Check out my e-book on narcissism: You Make Me Feel Like Crap HERE.

Personal Notes

It can be scary to think about your next date being a narcissist and sucking you into another pit of misery. But if you work on the above 5 ways to scare off a narcissist, then you have a chance. Don’t blame yourself if you do attract a narcissist – they target just about anyone to test them.

Narcissism E-Book, Guide to Dealing with A Narcissist In Your Life

I successfully defeated a narcissist in my life, and I continue to defeat one in my life every day. This e-book is a collection of posts and journal entries that I look back on to remind me that no matter what, I am worthy. I am deserving. If you need a guide to show you how to deal with that narcissist in your life, and are called to buy this book, click here.

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP – A revolutionary mini-course on how to pick up the pieces of your life and detach from malicious narcissists.