“You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are.” – Eckhart Tolle.
For all my life, I’ve been focused on getting people to think I’m cool. Yes, that’s me.
Like most people around the world, I would yearn for that validation that others give. What I didn’t know was that I could give myself a better and more fulfilling validation.
Of course, giving yourself validation is difficult, especially when you don’t know how to start. The first step is to always understand the short comings of seeking validation from others.
Here are 3 truths about seeking validation from others:
1. IF YOU CAN’T EXPECT IT OUT OF YOU, YOU CAN’T EXPECT IT OUT OF OTHERS
This has been my biggest revelation in the topic of validation. When you go out and expect people to think you look good, you have to be willing to think that YOU think you look good. Otherwise, you’re going to be running on empty.
If you want the kids at school to think you are cooler than you think you are, YOU have to be willing to accept that you are that cool.
Wanting external validation means being a bit full of yourself. If you expect others to think of you as phenomenal, you kind of have to think you are slightly, maybe worth it. You can’t want things you aren’t capable of possessing!
Realizing this kind of opened this chasm of self-esteem that I have to explore. Me wanting others to see me as cool means that I have to somehow think I am worthy of it. If I can’t imagine it, how do I expect other people to think it? I have to imagine that someone out there thinks I’m amazing. I have to believe it. I have to envision it.
If I can’t think of myself as good enough, how can others think it in their own little brains? I have to be willing to go inside my brain and visualize me being good enough. That’s when external validation can make sense.
2. EXTERNAL VALIDATION WILL NEVER FILL YOU UP
The thing about external validation is that you keep needing it. You don’t get complimented one time and expect that to fill up your validation reservoir for life.
That’s why yearning for external validation is a bit dangerous. You keep having to one-up your own self so you can get people to notice you bigger and better.
Social media sites like Instagram have people yearning for that validation from other people. Those likes and comments give you that rush of validation that makes you feel refreshed and juiced up.
You don’t just stop there, you know? It always has to be something. External validation will never fill you up. that’s just how it is. Plus, it’s not the real validation. True validation comes form within, and that’s the kind of validation that really truly fills you up. And – you don’t have to ask for it over and over again.
External validation fizzes out pretty quick. It has to be replenished over and over again. However, if you praise yourself one time, that stuff is so powerful that it could last you days!
3. INTERNAL VALIDATION NEEDS THE MAGIC OF BELIEF
I’ve said all these things about seeking validation from others. But how about when validating our own selves is a bit too difficult? Here are 3 ways to give yourself validation:
- Praise yourself more
- Never criticize yourself
- Believe you have a higher purpose
How many times do you look in the mirror and tell yourself what a good job you did?
If you don’t praise yourself, you fail to realize how people feel about you. Think of it this way: You can praise others, but you don’t know how it feels when others look at you and think you are amazing! Try to look beyond all that is you, and see yourself in other’s eyes for once.
Recently, my loved one told me they thought I was really amazing for something. Something that I hadn’t even done! The fact that they thought I was that cool baffled me. Because not even I see myself that way!
That incident really opened my eyes to the fact that even though I do all these things to seem amazing, I don’t really stop to think that I am all those things. I don’t think about how other people like this version of me that I have worked hard to create. I should be willing to like me because I modelled myself to be a likeable person!
Lastly, you should be willing to believe that you are here as a part of something bigger. That’s why I added that quote at the top:
“You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are.” – Eckhart Tolle.
I heard this quote while listening to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It was so powerful to me. I have been trying to unlock this concept that I, too am important in this world. I can at least think of myself as useful in the grand scheme of life.
Additional Helpful Posts:
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- How to Love Yourself First
- How to Learn to Love Yourself
- How to Trust Yourself More
- How to Be Confident in Yourself
- How to be Happier in Life
- How to Stop Hating Yourself
- What is Self Confidence and Why is it Important?
- 16 Quick ways to boost confidence
- How to be more grateful + Free gratitude worksheet
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- How to Raise Your Vibration Right Now
- How to Be Self-Partnered Like Emma Watson
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