First of all, I’d like to state that your anger is valid as a child. I’m not telling you how to pretend you are not angry, or make the anger disappear like it’s useless.
I know how it feels to make someone feel like a dummy for getting mad. We get mad for a reason. Never tell yourself that you are wrong for having an emotion like anger.
The important skill you need to learn when it comes to anger is to avoid letting it rule your mind and body and making mistakes you can easily avoid.
The first step when you get angry is to take a beat to tell yourself that you are okay with getting angry. Your anger is real and true. And that you will not let your anger make you do anything rash that will have consequences.
Take it from the anger veteran: The one who remains in control and chill is the one who wins any argument or face-off.
The days of showing my anger to my parents is long gone. And here is how I did it.
5 Ways to Deal with Being Angry at Your Parents
Here are my tried and true methods to stop being angry at your parents:
1 . Figure out their intentions
Listen to your gut: Are your parents really out to get you, or are they genuinely just acting dumb? Maybe they don’t really understand you. And I don’t give any excuse when parents don’t understand their kids.
Parents expect us to understand them and their ancient ways, but they can’t do the same for us?
The importance of figuring out their intentions is to cool down a bit of your anger.
If your parents are legit being manipulative and abusive, you need to learn to act a certain way. Read more in the next step.
2 . Learn to deal with emotionally abusive parents
Even nice parents get emotionally manipulative sometimes.
Anger is anger, but anger that is born from injustice just isn’t the same as (for example) getting angry at someone who messed up by mistake.
When you feel angry at your parents for being manipulative to you, my advice is that you tell yourself what’s happening as it is.
“I’m angry and enraged because my parents are being unfair and unjust.”
Believe yourself. Don’t sputter and try to prove to yourself what is real and what you know.
Accept what is happening.
3 . Stay calm always
After reading tons of books on manipulation, you can trust my advice. Besides that, I’m hot-headed and get angry often, but after learning to stay calm, I’ve been the winner of fights.
Learn to stay calm when you get angry.
If you get angry and fly into a rage, you lose. You just lose. Nothing good comes out of smashing things and yelling.
When it comes to your parents, learn to stay calm even when angry.
4 . Talk yourself out of anger
You can read about how to talk yourself out of anger here: How to Talk Yourself Out of Anger
In order to learn to talk yourself out of anger, you need to experiment and figure out what will pull you out your rage.
What usually makes me calm down is reminding myself that most of the people in my life are manipulative and controlling, and the only way I can be taken seriously is if I remain cool as a cucumber.
In fact, I try to squash my conscience so I don’t have to feel anything. I become a robot.
That is how I stop being angry at my parents.
5 . Rationalize your anger
When I get angry at other people, I try to rationalize and give them the benefit of the doubt. If you really think about it, some people are just genuinely not trying to hurt you. And that’s a big emphasis on some.
If I’m being completely honest, it’s hard to excuse people. That’s why I prefer to tell myself that I can’t control anyone. The only thing I can control about myself is my actions. I can’t even control the results of my actions.
I let people be. I can’t control anyone. Everyone has the right to do whatever they wish.
If I find myself getting angry at my sister for leaving her plate on my bed, I just brush it off. Life is literally too short to obsess over things that don’t even matter. Moments like these can just be brushed off and I don’t need to make a big deal of it.
In conclusion, anger is not a bad emotion. It’s not wrong. It is your internal compass. It tells you how your mind feels. The problem comes when you raise your voice or smash plates.
I hope you can use these tips to stop being angry at your parents.
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Talk Yourself Out of Anger
- How to Stop Being Angry and Resentful All the Time
- How to Set Boundaries & Learn to say NO
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