How to be Happier in Life

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This post is on how to be happier in life. Just a few thoughts of mine, and some strategies that have worked for me in improving my happiness.

How to be Happier in Life - 6 Ways to Uplift your Life — How to be Happier in Life – 6 Ways to Uplift your Life

I’m in my early twenties, and one thing I can say for sure is that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

It’s crazy when I think about it. I feel like the graph of my happiness is steeply inclined in the past few years, and that’s only because all my life, I was heading for this. I didn’t magically reach here. It was due to the aggregation of all my experiences from birth until now.

HOW I CHOSE TO BE HAPPIER IN LIFE – CHOOSING MYSELF ABOVE ALL ELSE HAD THE BIGGEST EFFECT.

The most important thing I did was to choose myself. To choose to trust and believe in myself. Even now, my favorite affirmations are:

I trust myself
I believe in myself

These are the most powerful phrases that I could have ever chosen to put my faith into. I never used to trust or believe in myself. But now I do.

The bleakest times of my life lead me to where I am now. I chose to choose myself for the first time. I let go of everything and promised myself that I would try. That’s when the magic started.

That was the first step in learning how to be happier in life.

Why I Chose Happiness

I wouldn’t say I chose happiness, per se. I chose to choose myself. I chose to try to be positive for the first time in my life. It’s funny to think that I was a child who didn’t trust the good times because I knew the bad times were my reality.

I remember being 15 and crying in the bathroom, and after I cried, I smiled, because I knew that sadness was what was good for me.

I had an identity for myself. I told everyone I knew that I was pessimistic and had a negative attitude about everything.

Somehow, I was proud of it.

BECOMING HAPPIER TODAY HAS BEEN THE RESULT OF GOING THORUGH ALL THE THINGS I WENT THROUGH. I COULDN’T HAVE GOT HERE ANY OTHER WAY.

Today, I’m proud that I’m mostly a positive person. It can be hard to be positive sometimes, but I try to choose positivity whenever I can. It’s changed my life.

When I took that leap that day after my whole world came crashing down, it was like the universe finally decided to start aligning towards me and my happiness. It was the magical spell I needed in order for everything to turn in my favor.

I Don’t Have to be Negative Anymore

One of the best ways to learn how to be happier in life is to banish negativity.

Deciding to let go of all the beliefs I had for myself was not as easy as it seems. You can’t cold-turkey something like negative beliefs that have been around since you were a little child.

It’s not as black and white as not being negative anymore, and now being positive.

It involves understanding yourself.

It involves working through your trauma and lack of love.

It took a long while for me to learn how to work through my emotions and habits. In fact, it’s only recently that I learnt how to dive into the waters of my mind and to separate habits from triggers.

I had to learn that some of my new bad habits were because of traumatic events that had happened to me. I’m glad I understood why I acted the way I did.

UNDERSTANDING MYSELF MADE ME HAPPIER IN LIFE. DIVNG DEEP INTO MY PSYCHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE HAPPIER IN LIFE.

I learnt that everything I do has a trigger. I know it may seem like an irrelevant or unnecessary fact, but most of the things we do as humans have a causation. There is a reason why you are bingeing. It might be a way of acting out how your mom controls you.

I realized that I was doing a lot of acting things out. I realized I was doing to myself the same things that my abusers would do to me, just in a more subtle way.

When I figured this out, it was revolutionary. I realized that I could understand myself more. It was like I had unlocked a new level in life. These days, I can easily pinpoint the reasons for why I’m acting a particular way.

It feels great to try to see the good in life every day.

It feels great to have figured out how to be happier in life

6 Ways to be Happier in Life

Learn how to be happier in life. You truly deserve it.

1 | Understand yourself

Learning to understand myself made me a happier person.

I used to float through life, living only for others to give meaning to my life. I waited for validation from others. I learned to study people and figure out what they liked, and how I could give it to them so that they would give me that validation that I oh-so-badly needed.

These are some options on how to learn to understand yourself better:

Meditation
Journaling
Self reflection

I could write a book on how much meditation has changed my life. Meditation helped me to learn how to dive deeper into the infinite waters of my mind. It helped me to hear the thoughts I had deeply suppressed when I decided to live for others. I learnt to hear my own thoughts and feelings and desires.

I learnt to sink into myself, and to be in total trust that I would not drown.

I know how hard meditation is. In fact, I can barely meditate by myself. That’s why I use guided meditation.

This is where someone else guides your every action and thought to help you achieve the benefits of meditation. These include:

How to breathe
How to relax every part of your body
The right questions to ask yourself
How to soother yourself

You can find free guided meditation videos on YouTube. In fact, check out my current favorite below.

Guided meditation helps me to fall asleep in a calm mood, as opposed to before when I would cry myself to sleep every night.

2| Get rid of bad habits

Learning to be happier in life means choosing better habits.

I have quite a few bad habits that are actually triggered by my life events. I struggled with addictions, and felt horrible every time I went through with them. I just could not stop myself.

After reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, I understood my bad habits more. I understood why I was doing them. It was due to trauma I had faced. Every time something triggered me to remember that trauma, I would repeat my bad habits.

When I realized that, my entire world shifted.

My bad habits like bingeing on food can easily be attributed to the control I feel in my life.

Control is my biggest enemy because freedom is what I truly desire in my life.

How to stop bad habits or addictions:

Figure out the source of your addiction
Collect data on what triggers you
Utilize a better coping mechanism
Be aware that you are acting out your trauma

BEING HAPPIER IN LIFE COMES FROM MAKING THE DECISION TO LET GO OF BAD HABITS. IT TAKES A LOT OF STRENGTH TO LET GO OF SOMETHING THAT HELPS YOU TO COPE.

Getting rid of bad habits or addictions can sometimes be easy. You figure out the cause of your bad habit, which is the traumatic even that happened to you, and this flips a switch in you. It makes you stop completely.

However, sometime the switch does flip, but it takes a while to break through the habit.

You disappoint yourself for a bit longer, but slowly but surely, you learn to let go. You learn to value yourself enough to not punish yourself any longer.

How to create good habits:

Go slow and steady
Try 5 minutes at a time
Get the deciding out of the way so you jump right in

Creating better habits and getting rid of bad ones will teach you how to be happier in life.

3 | Be positive to be happier in life

Positivity was the best thing I did for myself in the journey to learn how to be happier in life.

Choosing to be positive is the biggest feat I could have pulled. And I did. I was hell-bent on being sad and lonely for the rest of my life. In fact, I liked it.

Some of that is because a victim mentality was ingrained into me. I worked hard to let go of the victim mentality. It was a bit creepy how much pleasure I got from feeling victimized.

There was something going on with me as a child. I was a bit of a sad kid. Recently I remembered a song I’d made up when I was really young, maybe 8.

Nobody loves me,
Nobody cares about me…

It kind of had a tune and everything. It really reflects the state of my mind back then.

If I ever felt that way today, I would be quick to tell myself that I love me, and if no one loves me, that’s fine, because I got me.

Anyway, I understand that people really do love me, even though they might not show it all the time.

My favorite positive affirmations:

I feel good
I trust myself
I believe in myself
All is well
I am worthy
I am loved
Everybody loves me
I am love

Why affirmations work:

You choose to affirm something good.
You don’t ever know the future! It might be good!
Your subconscious mind is always listening.

4 | Get healthier to be happier in life

It has to be said.

If you don’t want to hate yourself, you need to work on yourself every day. Being healthy is not about losing weight, or going on a diet for a few weeks.

If you nourish and move your body every day, it will reflect on your inner being.

BEING HAPPIER MEANS CHOOSING TO TREAT YOUR BODY LIKE YOU WOULD TREAT A YOUNG CHILD. WITH LOVE AND DEEP APPRECIATION.

Caring for your body is a full-time job.

Eating well makes you appreciate the effort you put into yourself. You actually love and care for your earth suit.

Exercising is good for getting movement in and releasing old energies, shaking up your chakras, getting your blood warm!

Exercise is great for regulating emotions as well. It is a perfect coping mechanism.

I have a history of anger management issues and I think everyone who is prone to anger should work out regularly.

Take care of your body every single day. It’s so worth it.

Easy forms of exercise include:

Yoga
Walking
Body weight workouts
Stretching
Dancing

I make it a point to do some yoga every day. I like to turn on a yoga playlist to get me in the mood. Yoga aligns your chakras and makes you more flexible. It feels great, and I don’t even do any headstands!

5 | Try new hobbies

It’s good to try out new things as you grow older.

We don’t have to miss out on the joy of doing things for the first time, and the excitement of finding out that you are good at something new.

Traveling and checking out new places is a way to refresh the mind.

Exploring new genres of music keeps life from being stagnant.

Trying out new things is a way of exploring what can make you happier.

Some new things to try:

Learning guitar
Crafts like knitting
Gardening
Journaling

6 | Become love

Learning how to be happier in life means looking for love within.

Yep, self love is on the list. Human beings are capable of loving themselves, and being enough as they are.

I only recently began to understand that people love me for who I am, deeply. They don’t love me because I look good or I’m funny.

Love is deeper than that. Love is deeper than the external. It’s about deeply appreciating everything that a person is.

I feel like I was denied of this knowledge until recently. How could I have lived life not knowing that love is an amazing thing?

TRUE LOVE IS SELFLESS AND SEEKS NOTHING IN RETURN. IT DOESN’T FEEL A LACK OF RECIPROCATION. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING IN RETURN, THAT IS NOT LOVE.

I always imagined love to be transactional. I expected to be treated the way I was treating others. I now know that no one can give me what I give them. In fact, forcing someone to do exactly what I do for them makes them inauthentic to me. They have to do something unnatural just to make me feel loved.

True love wants nothing in return. True love is just love, that’s all it is.

How to love yourself more:

Positive affirmations
Be kind and gentle
Never criticize yourself, enough people do that already

How to love others more:

You can only truly love others if you love yourself
Don’t suffocate them with love
Have boundaries
Don’t give a lot if you don’t receive enough

7 | Let go of everything

Letting go of everything has made me a happier person.

I don’t take anything personally.

I don’t have the ability to make anyone mad and no one has the ability to make me mad.

My emotions are entirely up to me, no one has control over them.

People only do what they want to. It is not a reflection of me in any way.

What people say or do to me has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.

LEARNING THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW TO BE HAPPIER IN LIFE – NOTHING IS SET IN STONE. NO ONE REALLY KNOWS THE REAL YOU. THEY KNOW THE VERSION OF YOU THAT THEIR MINDS BUILT.

No one really knows the real me. Everyone just has this image of who they think I am in their minds. That’s the biggest reason why I don’t take anything personally. How someone thinks of me is not my problem at all. Even if I taught them a course on everything about me, they would not know me in all my intricacy. They would only have a mirage of me in their minds.

I cannot control other people. This has made me a happier person.

How to not take things personally:

Don’t prove anything to anyone
Don’t let anyone shake you up with anything they say
When you interact with someone, it is finished. Don’t stew on the conversation, no matter the contents.

Happiness is Yours

You can learn how to live every day being happier in life.

You can be happy too.

It takes one decision from you. That’s all you have to do: decide.

Your soul will be overjoyed when you take that step to try.

When you choose to gamble on yourself. No matter the odds, you choose yourself. Of course, it’s not that easy at the beginning. Honestly, it’ll probably never be easy.

That’s why you need to be there for yourself. You need to be your crutch and your rock. You need to be there to support yourself with positive encouragement and affirmations.

Remember, forget all the criticism against yourself. You deserve to love yourself unconditionally, always.

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