Two years ago, I was a hot mess. I was prone to getting really angry, flying into violent rages, getting into screaming fests and in general being a miserable wretch. Today you would barely recognize me as that same person. I’m calm, composed and can easily talk myself out of my anger. Of course, like any normal human, I do get angry. These days I just know how to control my anger.
You are not born with feelings of anger and resentment. You come by them because of your circumstances. You can copy them from family or peers, maybe you grew up in a tough environment, or you never really learned to manage emotions like stress or harsh behavior.
The good news is, these behaviors of anger and resentment can be reversed. You can teach yourself to be calmer, and to manage your anger better. Like me, it will take some time, and it begins with admitting that you have a problem. From there on, you should learn to adopt behaviors and activities that will help you to stop being angry and resentful all the time.
I’ve compiled a list of 10 strategies to help you learn how to stop being angry and resentful all the time. A lot of people attribute getting over their anger issues to reading a lot of self-help books. I heavily recommend checking into amazing self-help books that help you to get your anger in check. This list has a bunch of tried and tested techniques to help you beat anger and resentment in your life.
How to Stop Being Angry and Resentful All the Time
Here are my top 10 ways to learn how to stop being angry and resentful all the time:
1 . Why are you angry?
A simple mental dialogue with yourself will take you miles away from your anger. Simply admitting your feelings in simple words will calm you down. Ask yourself: Why am I angry? Then answer yourself truthfully. Spell it out, no matter how trivial it may be.
2 . Take a few deep breaths and try to relax
If you feel your temperature going up, heart beat escalating, hyper-ventilation, the whole works, take a moment to take a few deep breaths. It doesn’t matter if anyone is watching. This beats getting violent and going off on people or material objects in the way. Anger can cause some real damage because it boosts adrenaline in the blood stream. Try to relax away the anger. Anger can cause you to act irrationally. So step back and think through what happened before coming to conclusions.
3 . Don’t make decisions based on your anger
I always make sure to have a distinction between my rational mind and my emotional mind. I’ve learned that making decisions based on temporary feelings can cause lasting damage. Your words and actions that can said in the heat of the moment can scar people. If you’re angry, excuse yourself from people. Trust me, it’s better to take a moment to cool off than to go off on others.
4 . Be active
Anger is an emotion that produces a lot of energy. You feel powerful and strong when you’re angry. (At least I do). You need to transfer that energy to healthier activities and habits. Physical exercise is a great habit for angry and resentful people. It helps you to redirect your energy and time to productive activities.
5 . Don’t be a victim
Let’s face it—you only think about yourself when you’re angry. You think about how you have been wronged, or how things didn’t go your way, how the cashier was mean to you, why everybody hates you, blah blah. Anger makes victims of all of us. Accept that there are two sides to every story. The person who is ignoring you is probably just busy. Nobody is out to get you.
6 . Accept your feelings of anger
Don’t hate yourself for getting angry. Anger exists for a reason. We get angry for a reason. Your anger could help you to take steps necessary to ensure that other people don’t get as inconvenienced as you did. You can report dangerous situations or leave helpful reviews on products. This can help to improve the situation. You can learn to accept your anger and use rationality to react.
7 . Choose rationality over your anger
Anger clouds judgement. Avoid making decisions and choices when you are angry. Cool off before making life changing decisions. Don’t make rage-fueled decisions.
8 . Know your triggers
Stay away from situations and people who make you angry. Learn to control your emotions; but before that, keep away from your triggers. The next time you get angry, get down to what caused it. Keep away from this activity or person.
9 . Talk to someone
You can talk to your family or friends about your feelings. They can help you to see things from a different perspective and dissipate your angry emotions. You can hang out with them to shake off your anger. You can also seek professional help to get over anger issues.
10 . Apologize
Anger causes you to hurt other people. It can cause you to act in ways that you regret. The good news is, you can apologize to the people you hurt and ask for forgiveness. Explain to them how you really feel and work out your differences to avoid any ill feelings.
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Talk Yourself Out of Anger
- How to Control Anger in a Relationship
- How to Stop Being Angry at The World
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