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Empaths are people who are really attuned to the people and surroundings around them, in that they are capable of feeling other’s thoughts and feelings. They can be very emotional about things like news on TV, other people’s struggles, tragedies, anything really, in fact they can even feel bad for Mother Earth because of global warming!
Basically, empaths are just born highly sensitive individuals. They are more attuned to what is happening outside themselves, almost ignoring what is happening inside of them! In fact, empaths are also capable of reacting to how someone feels about them, and they try to be welcoming to the other person thereby creating a turbulent inner environment.
I remember one time in high school, I was in the library and I could feel everyone’s inner static and it was giving me so much anxiety, and I just had to leave. At the time, I didn’t know it, but I later realized that I had some degree of empathic personality within me.
Sometime back, I realized that I could relate to being a codependent as well. It’s also possible for an empath to not be codependent. Being a codependent is crazy. I relate to it so much because most of the time, I feel like a ghost floating around. I don’t really have a sense of self.
Well, the good news is that recognizing the quirks in your personality gives you the ability to manage them. You can be an empath but manage to shield yourself from other people’s vibrations. You can feel for them without needed to fix their entire lives (As if you even can!)
I had to realize that I’m not responsible for how other people feel. As much as I can pick up on those feelings, I can’t barge into someone’s life and go all Bob The Builder trying to fix it. I don’t have any responsibility whatsoever to try to lift up someone’s mood.
The thing about codependents is that they are MADE. Codependents have learnt somewhere along, that it is their job to take care of other people. This could have been re-enforced in their childhood. Catering to other family member’s needs before your own.
In addition to that, some codependents have some kind of attachment issues due to being abandoned in some form during their childhood. Abandonment can also come in the form of neglect by parents to show children how loved they are.
5 Crucial Life Skills for Empaths and Codependents
Empaths and codependents need to establish some coping skills in their day-to-day lives. The way we cope with heavy feelings can really make a difference in the quality of our lives. Here are some of the life skills for empaths and codependents:
1 | Honor the self
Number #1 for the life skills for empaths and codependents: Honor the self. Empaths and codependents find it hard to ground themselves into their own reality. They almost always discard the ‘self’. It’s impossible to honor the self if you don’t even have one in the first place. Do you know what you want? Do you stop to think how you feel? Empaths and codependents are notorious for neglecting the self and choosing to serve others instead. You need to commit to yourself. Codependents are constantly seeking validation from others outside of themselves. We need to start stepping into the power that we hold in ourselves: the ability to validate our own selves.
We need to start asking ourselves what is in our best interests, rather than what is a codependent call to action. Most of the time, nobody is really taking care you. So why do you find the need to go out of your way to provide unsolicited help?
2 | Shield and Ground Yourself
You can learn to cope with being an empath by shielding yourself from other’s vibrations hitting you from all directions. Start giving importance to preserving the self. Picking up on other’s energies is okay, but learning to understand that it isn’t your job to do anything is the right course of action. Wake up every day with the intention to serve the self before anyone else. Direct your empathy towards yourself before anyone else. Learn to detach from other, while sequestering deep within your own self/spirit.
3 | You are not responsible for saving others
Your calling is not to be a guardian angel. Everyone is on their own unique spiritual, or mental journey. There is no need to assume the role of a superhero and fix other people. Respect other people’s unique and individual journey on this earth. I think it’s a bit self-righteous to think that we have the right to barge into other’s lives and interfere.
These days, I kind of figure that my own journey is pretty cool. Even when I’m going through some difficult stuff, I understand that it’s character building of a sort. I tell myself that I’ll look back fondly on my own memories. When I apply that to empathy, it feels wrong to want to change the course of someone’s life. It’s their own life to do with as they please. They have a right to be in charge of whatever they are doing; whether it feels wrong to you, or not.
In fact, you don’t have to be responsible for everybody else in your life. All you have to do is be responsible for your own existence. As much as life didn’t come with an instruction manual, you have to admit, being responsible for YOURSELF seems pretty self-explanatory.
4 | Take some time off for yourself
Number #4 for the life skills for empaths and codependents: Take some time off for yourself. Saving the world can be hard. Take time off worrying about others and treat yourself to some self-care time. Take a soothing shower, light some candles, read a nice book, watch your favorite movie. Rediscover your interests.
Learn to relax and let go of all the responsibilities that you feel you have over others. Journaling is also a very productive form of self-care. Journaling is very important for empaths and codependents because you don’t really know to feels and behave in your best interests. Writing things down can help you see what you feel in black and white, not colored by other people’s feelings or thoughts.
5 | Setting boundaries
This point is very crucial as a life skill for empaths and codependents. That’s because empaths and codependents are at a high risk of attracting narcissists and other similar energy vampires. Empaths and codependents are targets for individuals seeking to get free energy, time, attention, and even a free punching bag, a person to be toxic and hurtful to. I have been writing about narcissists for some time now, and a crucial life skill for empaths and codependents is to be firm about themselves, and set boundaries. They should not be afraid to hurt a narcissist’ feelings by cutting them off at a moment’s notice for some red flags.
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