6 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No-Contact

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Going no-contact with a narcissist can be hard, especially if you are not prepared enough. That’s why I have compiled a list of these 6 things narcissists do when you go no-contact. They range from what a narcissist is feeling deep inside. Do they miss you? Yeah, but do you want to go back to them and restart old patterns?

Narcissists are cunning and will do whatever it takes to get you back. Or, they will do whatever it takes to hurt you. You have to be ready to protect yourself from being manipulated into going back and getting hurt all over again, and this time, it might be worse.

Waiting for a narcissist’s next move can be painful. You are already so attached to them. However, if you made the decision to go no-contact, it’s also time to go within and heal all the trauma. This is the time to heal all the abuse and pain that you have gone through.

It’s the time to slow down and be patient with ourselves. When you are no longer in communication with your narcissist, all the pain and suffering is going to bubble up to the surface. You might feel empty without that person next to you. During this time, you need to establish a strong support system. You can be your own support system, armed with positive thoughts and cognitive restructuring.

Let’s get one thing straight about narcissists. They know how the human mind works. They get you addicted to them by first practicing love bombing. They shower you with love, attention and gifts. But they know how to do it in moderation, so that you don’t get too used to that. This creates chemicals in your brain, and that makes you an addict.

Take for example gambling at a casino: when you win, you get that rush. However, you don’t always win. That takes the fun out of it. That’s exactly the tool that narcissists apply to get you to obsess over them and think about them constantly. Remember, anyone can be a victim of narcissistic manipulation.

Your chances of being a victim to a narcissist reduce dramatically if you are grounded into yourself. If you are confident in yourself, and your passions. If you are self-partnered. I’ve written about self-partnering, and it means going into the walls of your mind and familiarizing yourself with your Self. It means holding your own hand through the pain of previous inner trauma.

Let’s get into the 6 things narcissists do when you go no-contact. What are they thinking and feeling? Do they actually care or not? What are they going to do to reel you back in?

6 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No-Contact

1 | Say they broke up with you, and not the other way around

Narcissists have an enormous ego. They will not allow anyone to think you have enough power over them to end the relationship.  They might know that this will hurt you. Good. They want to hurt you more than you have hurt them. Better yet, they will want you to think that it hasn’t phased them at all. This might trigger you into coming back because you feel unloved and abandoned. You might come back and serve them and be nice to them so you can get a few crumbs of love in return.  

You have to beat this by staying solid in your decision to leave. Don’t be duped into returning, because it will only get worse. Retreat within yourself and heal those feelings that make you feel undesirable and unwanted, or unloveable.

2 | Communicating about mundane things  

Narcissists know how to make you tick. What do narcissists do when you go no-contact? They contact you over seemingly random things. They know it will get you to think about them again. They are testing you to see if you will fall for their bait again. Narcissists need you for their supply of unflinching love and devotion. For your ability to be a punching bag or dumpster for their toxic words.

They will let you know by sort form of proxy that they are going on a date with someone else. They will carefully plan these sorts of things to get you to feel jealous and come back. It might seem like you would never fall for such tricks, but these are people who have been used and abused enough to want to come back. These things work on people who are so deep into their feelings, that they can be manipulated easily.

In order to avoid falling for these kinds of traps, be sure to remain strong to your cause. Narcissists are capable actors. They would like to make you feel that they are changed and everything will now be better. But that’s not true. In fact, things will get worse.  

3 | They will say they are now changed or going to therapy

What do narcissists do when you go no-contact? They switch it up. A whole 180 degrees. They will accept the error of their ways and promise to change. They will proceed to do all the things you used to beg them to. They might even go to therapy and bring papers showing their clinical diagnosis. This is how they dupe you. Don’t believe them. This is another ploy to lure you back in and abuse you further. You owe it to yourself and to life itself to seek better for yourself.

4 | Threaten suicide or worse

Number #4 for things narcissists do when you go no-contact? Threaten suicide. Narcissists will do whatever they can to get you back. They don’t believe in giving you your space or respecting your decision like a normal person. They will write suicide notes addressed to you and your family. This might trigger your feelings of sympathy and make you go back, where only pain, abuse and suffering exist.

Remember that you are responsible for your life and well-being first and foremost. Other people come after you. You don’t have the power to bring anyone back from the dead. No human being should ever have the burden of being responsible for someone else’s life other than their own. Have you ever thought of how little you actually have to give? Do you really have the resources, time, and energy to be responsible for someone’s life?

5 | Spread lies and rumors about you

Anyone can get enraged over lies about themselves. They rush to correct them and stop them from spreading further. It’s crazy how people who have almost no self-respect or self-love can find the energy and urgency to defend themselves against slander and rumors.

That’s what the narcissist wants. They want you to go back to them and ask them why they are spreading these lies about you. Remember that narcissists love arguing with you. They love to see you squirm and try to defend yourself against their onslaught. Arguing with a narcissist is pointless because they consider you inferior to them, and you will remain that way.

6 | Move on

What do narcissists do when you go no-contact? Keeping away from them, no texting, no replies? If you are making a narcissist do a lot of work, they will move on. It’s easy for a narcissist to enter a room and spot their next victim. Someone who isn’t self-sufficient, or self-partnered. An easy target, someone who seems like they don’t quite have the best self-esteem. People who need love, and yet feel unlovable and undesired. Someone who will ignore a million red flags. Someone who doesn’t know what a healthy relationship look like. Someone who is going to be sucked into the cycle of on-and-off attention. Someone who is going to catch feelings for them.

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