In this post, I’ve created a list of tips to help you talk yourself out of anger. I know they work because I used to be hot-tempered but I learnt how to calm myself down.
Being an angry person doesn’t last forever when you learn how to diffuse the anger within you.
Here is a list of ways to help you talk yourself out of anger.
5 Ways to Talk Yourself Out of Anger
What follows is a few mindsets you should instantly remind yourself of the moment you get angry.
1 . I don’t want to be angry
This is a magical way to talk yourself out of anger.
“I won’t choose anger over my peace and wellbeing.”
I remember the first time I used this phrase. My mom made me do something really unnecessary that I didn’t want to do, and it flopped, so I got really mad. I rushed home, ready to let her have it but before I reached home, I realized: Oh my God, I don’t want to feel this anger!
The anger melted off me right away. I really just don’t want to be angry, ever.
2 . Explain it away
When someone makes you angry, the way you can talk yourself out of anger is by giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Try to give them a good explanation for what they did.
It doesn’t help anyone if you get mad at someone for the wrong reason.
3 . I’m the only one I can control
This is a tough lesson I had to learn recently. You literally cannot control, or be responsible for anyone else.
The only thing you can control is your actions. You can’t even control your results or outcomes!
All you can control is what you do. So, if you can’t control your anger, you should try harder, because your ability to show (or not show) your emotions is well within your power.
4 . Release your anger in a healthy way
People don’t get angry over nothing. There is always a reason for anger, no matter how misconstrued it is.
Sometimes we get angry over small things. But the thing about our emotions is that they are our internal gauge. Emotions like anger let us know when our boundaries are being violated.
Learn to release your anger through sport, and exercise.
Being quick to anger usually indicates that you have a lot of energy in you, just waiting to leap out at the least bit of push. That is why hot tempered people should have some sort of workout or martial arts routine.
5 . Self introspection
I didn’t want to say “meditation” out loud because I know people hate seeing that word!
That is why I’m choosing to call it “self introspection”. Every time you get angry, I want you to go within and listen to all your thoughts, while remaining neutral and non-judgmental.
You can also use the help of a journal to get your feelings out. Self introspection is very important in learning to manage your emotions. This is because it lets you really listen to yourself. We rarely ever do that, and I think it’s a very important activity that everyone should start doing.
Remember to think of your thoughts as okay, and perfect, and not negative and bad. Accept them for what they are, without necessarily agreeing with them.
These are the things I tell myself every time I get angry. I’m much more of a calm person nowadays, and I try to remember that anger serves to remind me of how peaceful my life is. If there was no anger, I’d forget to be grateful for the peaceful moments in my life!
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Stop Being Angry and Resentful All the Time
- How to Pretend You’re Not Upset
- How to Set Boundaries & Learn to say NO
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