In this post, I am going to be talking about how to stop being angry and depressed. Please note that I am not a therapist or a mental health worker in any capacity. If you are depressed, speak with a professional. My blog posts are not substitute for therapy. All I do is provide a little about what helps me personally. If it helps you, then that’s good enough for me.
I’m sectioning this post into two parts. One will be about the activities you can practice to stop being angry and depressed. The next section is on mind stuff. Mentalities that might be that missing puzzle piece to completely switch up your brain. Yes, it’s possible. I have been in a situation where reading one line from a book changes my life.
Coping Mechanisms to Stop Being Angry and Depressed
The activities I mentioned above are in essence what are called Coping Mechanisms. These are activities you do that make you feel better when you are sad, hurt, depressed. Think for a second. What is one thing that makes you feel better instantly? This can be a great coping mechanism. However, there are activities you use to cope with feelings of depression and such that cause negative effects to you. These are not good coping mechanisms. Examples include alcohol, drugs, sex with strangers, and the like. They make you feel like crap the next day.
Now, I know that there are things that make us feel better, but we hate doing them, or we just don’t see the point in doing such stuff. Just remember that it is a good idea to do those healthy coping mechanisms, because they will make you feel better and also after you do them, you won’t regret it. That is what I will be covering in this section. Here they are:
1 . Exercise.
Don’t groan! Exercise is a very helpful coping mechanism. It is literally one of the best things you can do for your mental health. As someone who is prone to getting angry quickly, I have made it a key component of my days. Exercise also helps me to shake off any anxiety that I have about something in my life, for example a job interview. I know people only exercise when they want to lose weight and look hot, but to me, I treat exercise like an important health decision.
2 . Journal
Okay, at this point I think you don’t want to hear about these stupid activities. But just remember that you are not doing them, and you are still angry and depressed. Maybe these are what is missing in your life. So, give it a shot! Journaling is extremely important for sorting out your thoughts. Think about it: You go through your life having all these unresolved feelings in your mind. Don’t you think it’s a good idea to actually understand these feelings and give them a platform to be seen and heard? We go through our entire lives and never really show up for our emotional health.
3 . Self care activities
Self-care is a huge thing these days. And I believe in it. Self-care activities are important in your life. They are needed to help you deal with your strong emotions, and to relax yourself from the constant stress in your life. We need to cope with emotions. If you get depressed, don’t just go to bed and not think about it. (Although napping helps.) Call up a friend. Cook yourself your fave meal. Watch your fave TV show. Do something about the depression. Try to cheer yourself up. We need to normalize trying to make ourselves feel better.
Mentalities to consider in order to stop being angry and depressed
This is where I share with you my thoughts that personally help me when I get sad and angry and depressed.
1 . Anger is useless
Anger is useless when expressed with rage and violence. Anger is good, don’t get me wrong. It is an emotional compass that tells us when our boundaries are being pushed. However, the problem comes when you get flustered and unbalanced emotionally. There is no need to yell and hit. Like, seriously. There is no need for that part of anger. You can acknowledge your anger and express it in a healthy manner.
I’ve also come to realize that being angry in an argument is one way to show that you don’t know all the facts. You have missing information, and that makes you fill it in with emotion. That is why I never get angry when someone is arguing with me. The calm and composed person always seems to be in charge.
2 . Disappointment is part of life
Disappointment is part of life. Life is filled with disappointments. Of course, life is also filled with awesomeness and happiness. Life has both. It doesn’t pick and choose what to hand you. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to bad people. Basically: Good and bad things happen to people. That’s just life. If something happens that makes you feel angry and depressed, I want you to know that that is just life. And you can do this. You can get over the bad things, because good things come too.
3 . The obstacle is the way
This is actually the title of a book I’m reading right now, and it is helping me so much lately. The Obstacle is The Way by Ryan Holiday.
These are some excerpts on the book:
“You will come across obstacles in life—fair and unfair. And you will discover, time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.”
And this one has really made me think:
“Desperation, despair, fear, powerlessness—these reactions are functions of our perceptions. You must realize: Nothing makes us feel this way; we choose to give in to such feelings.”
One night, I was really sad because I’d gotten rejected for a book I wrote. I thought, if I talk to this friend of mine, I will feel better. But then I remembered that quote above. And I realized, no, not really. I just think I’ll feel better when I talk to them. I can easily journal about this, or listen to my favorite song and feel better.
I also realized this: Money, fame and power doesn’t make you any better of a human being. You don’t lose the privilege of being a deserving human because you lost a job. You are still a person to whom good things (and bad things) will keep happening to.
Material things do not determine your worth. You are still you even when you didn’t get the email back from a company.
I hope I helped in this post on how to stop being angry and depressed. If I didn’t help, you should keep going. Keep trying to find ways to stop being sad and angry. The way life is, if you keep looking, you usually find a solution to your problems. Opportunities keep coming into our lives. That’s just how life is. Be sure to try out some coping mechanisms, and also check out The Obstacle is The Way by Ryan Holiday.
Feel free to leave a comment if anything in this post resonates with you. It makes my day.
Additional Helpful Posts:
- How to Stop Being Angry for No Reason
- How to Control Anger Outbursts
- How to Stop Being Angry at Yourself